Resources

If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.

You can reach the Crisis Center of Comal County at 1.800.434.8013 or 830.620.4537.

Abuse, Power, and Control

What is Abuse?

Abuse is a repetitive pattern of behaviors to maintain power and control over another person. These are behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a person from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. Abuse includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of abuse can be going on at any one time.

The Power and Control diagram is a helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by abusers to establish and maintain control over their partner. Financial control, sexual coercion, isolation, threats, and physical violence are all forms of abuse. Toggle the types of power & control to read more.

  • Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt them, including:

    • Threatening to leave

    • Threatening suicide

    • Threatening to report them to welfare

    • Making them drop charges

    • Making them do illegal things.

  • Making them afraid by using looks, actions, gestures. This could include:

    • Smashing things

    • Destroying property

    • Abusing pets

    • Displaying weapons

    • Putting them down

    • Making them feel bad about themselves

    • Calling them names

    • Making them think they are crazy

    • Playing mind games

    • Humiliating them

    • Making them feel guilty

  • Controlling what they do, who they see and talk to, what they read, where they go, limiting their outside involvement, or using jealousy to justify actions.

    • Making light of the abuse and not taking their concerns seriously

    • Saying the abuse didn’t happen

    • Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior

    • Saying they caused it

    • Making them feel guilty about the children

    • Using the children to relay messages

    • Using visitation to harass them

    • Threatening to take the children away

    • Treating her like a servant

    • Making all the big decisions

    • Acting like the “master of the castle”

    • Being the one to define men’s and women’s roles

    • Preventing them from getting or keeping a job

    • Making them ask for money

    • Giving them an allowance

    • Taking their money

    • Not letting them know about or have access to family income