Resources
If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.
You can reach the Crisis Center of Comal County at 1.800.434.8013 or 830.620.4537.
Safety Planning
What is Domestic Abuse?
Domestic abuse, also referred to as “domestic violence”, “intimate partner violence”, or “family violence”, is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one person to gain or maintain power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence.
Abuse can take many forms.
Abuse can take many forms, including physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, economic, and spiritual abuse and/or stalking.
When you are ready to leave.
Leaving an abusive situation can be the most dangerous time for a victim/survivor of domestic violence. Your safety and well-being are paramount. It is advised that you do not share your plan for leaving with your abuser. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you are thinking of ending an abusive relationship, it’s important for you to know that there’s a chance the abuser will become more violent. For this reason, it could be useful to think through options to keep safe in your specific situation. A plan of action to keep you safer from an abuser is called “safety planning.”
Within our resources, you can find information on different types of situations a victim can find her/himself in. Not all of these suggestions will work for everyone, and some could even place you in greater danger.
You must do what you think is best to keep yourself and your children safe.
In some circumstances, a restraining order may be part of a safety plan. You can also consider contacting a local domestic violence organization, like Crisis Center of Comal County. These organizations may be able to help you create a safety plan and provide support, shelter, counseling, legal referrals, or other services.
Planning Ahead If You Are In The Relationship
Plan ahead where you can go if the abuser shows signs of escalating. Make a list of safe people to contact (domestic violence program, friends, relatives, attorney, and important persons/services). Have numbers for local domestic violence programs. Pack and have ready a bag or suitcase of essentials, including medications.
Obtain and secure personal documents and information for you, and if you have children, for them as well: birth certificates, driver’s license, social security cards, immunization records, passports, licenses, bank accounts, debit and credit cards, checkbooks, W-2s, paystubs, insurance cards and policies, school records, clothing, and keys. Any documentation that you might have about the abuse, pictures, recordings, medical records, and police reports are also very important to have. Include cash if you can and any other valuable that you don’t want to leave behind. Keep in mind that large items like furniture might not be possible to hide.
Find a safe place to hide these—with a friend, relative, and/or another place the abuser cannot access.
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Avoid rooms with no exits, like bathrooms and closets. Also, avoid rooms with weapons, like the kitchen.
Get to a room with a door or a window to escape.
If it is possible, lock the abuser outside. Call 911.
Get medical attention if you are hurt.
If you have contact with the police, get the name and badge number of the officer(s).
Contact a domestic violence program, the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233), or find a safe shelter.
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Create a safety plan appropriate for their age. If children are old enough, have them get out of the house and alert a neighbor (one you have already contacted, is safe, knows about your situation, and is willing to help), and call 911.
Practice the safety plan with your children.
Instruct them not to get physically involved in the incident and instead “go” to their safe place (already established).
If going to a safe place or neighbor’s house is not possible, teach them to call 911.
Have older children take younger children to a safer room in the house, already established.
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Keep emergency provisions for your pet in case your abuser withholds money.
Keep the phone number of the nearest 24-hour emergency veterinary clinic.
Establish pet ownership by creating a paper trail (i.e., obtain a license and have veterinarian records put in your name).
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Obtain safe emergency shelter - somewhere that won’t be disclosed to your abuser (e.g. veterinarian, friend, family, or a safe haven for pets program)
Pack a bag for your pet that includes: food, medicine, documents of ownership (receipts from adoption or purchase of pet, license to establish ownership, receipts for animal purchases), health documents i.e. veterinary and vaccination records, a leash, an ID and rabies tag if you have a dog or cat (these will also help establish ownership), pet carrier, toys, bedding
Once you have left, keep pets indoors if possible. Do not let the pet outside alone.
Pick a safe route and time to walk your pet. Do not exercise/walk your pet alone.
Change your veterinarian.
If you must leave without your pet, remember to leave enough food, fresh bedding, litter, etc. for them.
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Change your phone number and other contact information.
Consider getting a restraining or protective order. Speak to an advocate to determine whether that is a good option for you. Every situation is different.
Screen your calls.
Save and document all contact, messages, injuries, or other incidents involving the abuser.
Change your locks.
Avoid being alone.
Plan how to get away if confronted by the abuser.
If you have to meet the abuser, do it in a public place.
Vary your routine.
If you have a restraining or protective order, always have a copy with you. Leave a copy at work. If you have children, leave a copy at your children’s school and every place your children might spend time (childcare center, grandparents, friends, etc.).
Find out if your workplace has a domestic violence response policy and ask questions if you don’t understand how it works.
Consider joining a support group at a local domestic violence program.
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Set your electronic devices and account settings to “private” to prevent unauthorized usage.
Utilize lock screen passwords on your phone and computer to keep others from accessing your devices.
Cover built-in webcams when not in use to keep someone from accessing them.
Turn off location on mobile devices (including children’s) to prevent someone from tracking your location.
Check your phone settings regularly and be aware they can reset during regular updates without your knowledge.
Check your child’s phone and other electronic devices’ security settings regularly, especially if they traveled with or visited with your abuser.
Look for tracking devices that may have been placed in your and/or your child(ren)’s belongings or vehicle.
Disable auto share and auto links (i.e., cloud, google…) on your cell phone, tablet, and computers to increase privacy.
Change your passwords regularly on your electronic devices, accounts, and social media.
Periodically search your name online to see if any identifying information appears.
Keep your information private, avoid sharing your full name, phone numbers, and addresses with retailers and when creating accounts.
Obtain a new cell phone with a different phone number.
Look for hidden cameras if you suspect you are being watched and/or recorded.
Be cautious when posting pictures on social media that could identify your location.
Avoid tagging your location on social media.
Planning Ahead If You Are In Not In The Relationship
Electronic Considerations
Current technology, including spyware, has increased abusers’ ability to harass and stalk their victims. Misuse and criminal actions can lead to the unwanted and unsafe discovery of your location, browser history, usage, etc., for example, the use of tracking devices. Below are electronic safety considerations. Adjust according to your level of safety from a potential abuser. For example, if you are currently residing with your abuser, be mindful of any changes that could cause alarm or lead to harm.